DeCaff
by Theoretical
Summary: Gibbs' doctor orders him to go without coffee for 2 weeks. Rating for later chapters. Chapter 15: Has Gibbs been kidnapped by someone, or did he go willinglly with promises of a French Press coffee? Why don't cops beleive McGee? and Firefighters try arson
1. Observations

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

* * *

Gibbs had only met two doctors he liked. One was Ducky and the other was a Dr. Stevens, who had been part of the navy. 

Of course, he didn't dislike doctors without good reason, and he had liked all of his doctors until they had found something wrong with him, after that he disliked them, put could put up with them. However, this time he actually hated his doctor.

It was a fiery hate, only that revolved around one of the many things Gibbs loved, coffee.

Coffee, was one of the few constant things in his life, along with, the constant bickering of Tony and Kate, Abby's peppiness, Duckys kindness, and McGee's, well, he wasn't sure what about McGee, but, there was some reason he had kept him around.

He knew that they would support him in this, horrible time, but, he also knew they would tease him and possible take advantage of the situation. Pulling up the only place that made 'Caff-Pows' He entered and greeted the shop owner. The owner and Gibbs had never formerly introduced themselves but were friends.

"Good morning Obi-Wan" Skywalker greeted Gibbs.

"Hardly, Ani." Gibbs/Obi-Wan huffed slightly. It was barely 8 in the morning and already he was feeling the strain of the doctors orders. Skywalker glanced and Gibbs, and indignantly noticed the lack of a coffee. The shop did not allow outside food or drink until, Skywalker had met Obi-Wan. It seemed the only way to keep the man's business was to allow his coffee, so in the window, underneath the 'no outside food or drink' hung another notice stating, 'Unless your Obi-Wan.'

A few star wars fans had attempted to get in with coffee, but, Skywalker had informed them that they were not the correct Obi-Wan.

"You don't have coffee." remarked Skywalker as he prepared the 'Caff-Pow'. He guessed the Obi-Wan did not drink them himself, but rather bought them for a friend. He wished he could meet the person Obi-Wan was buying them for. They would be quite the interesting person he guessed. Obi-Wan had attempted to drink one once, but had failed.

"Don't remind me." Muttered Obi-Wan. The drink was prepared and Gibbs took out his wallet to pay, but Skywalker stopped him, telling him it was one the house. He sincerely hoped Obi-Wan's day got better.

* * *

"Hello, Gibbs!" greeted the security man who was at the entrance of NCIS headquarters, "Nice day?" he asked noticing that Gibbs had a 'Caff-Pow!' but no coffee. 

Gibbs just growled under his breath.

"That's what I thought!" laughed the guard who, after making sure Gibbs had no bombs on him, let him into the building.

* * *

Janice, a receptionist, loved her job. She did every task, quickly, correctly and with a dazzling smile. In fact she had been a receptionist at NCIS, since it had opened it's doors, and despite many promotion offers, she had kept her job. Janice had become a receptionist elsewhere when she was just 22 years old. Three weeks ago she had celebrated her 69th birthday. 

Having worked there for over 10 years, she had seen her fair share of bad days. When people were fired, many would come see her. If they were sick, all knew Janice had a cure. Angry at someone? Tell Janice, she'll help you sabotage their access codes! And she would do so with a smile.

Janice, had known Gibbs for a while now, and being older than him often yelled at him for being a 'Young, Coffee-drinking, punk', she also knew of his coffee addiction.

She had only seen Gibbs without his coffee three times. One day, Kate, 'The new Girl', Janice called her, even though many had been hired since her, had spilled Gibbs' coffee, another day he had been running late (Janice, did not want to know why.) and the other time was when a director had knocked it out of his hands.

And now there was today. Gibbs had a bigger-than-normal scowled plastered upon his face and a giant thing of something for The Nice Girl.

Janice had never learned Abby's name, and she suspected that, Abby did not know hers. Abby called her 'Grandma B', and often would stay late just so Janice didn't have to ride the bus home.

"You!" she yelped. For an old lady, she had a bunch of energy, "Punk boy!" Gibbs stopped mid step and walked over to her, knowing it was best not to mess with Janice.

"You have no coffee. Should I order some for you?" Janice asked, knowing his dislike, of office coffee.

"As much as I would like coffee, you shouldn't order it for me." he walked off without explaining, and Janice got back to her work.

"Good morning Janice!" greeted Tony as he walked in with his trademark smile, "Could you help me?"

"Yes, Tony, I probably could help you, what is it?" Tony was one of the few people that she called by their real name, or nickname, anyway.

"I think I just saw Gibbs enter, an I didn't notice that he had any c-"

Janice put her finger to his lips and nodded worriedly.

"So he does have any coffee? Why?"

"I don't know. But! He did tell me that I shouldn't order any."

This was confusing Tony and he walked off, wondering about it.

* * *

"Tony?" Kate answered into her phone, wondering what was going on. Tony wouldn't call her if he was going to be late to work, and work started very soon. 

"Kate, Do you see Gibbs yet?"

"No…" she wondered where this was going, thinking the worst. Perhaps Tony had seen a car that looked like Gibbs' in a horrible accident, or had passes Gibbs house, only to see that it was blown up or-

"Go to Abby's lab. He doesn't have coffee."

Both hung up and Kate grabbed her stuff and rushed off the see Abby. To not only warn her but to hide with her. If Gibbs didn't have coffee, then well, she didn't want to know. Wait? Gibbs had a loaded gun in his desk, just in case. Did she dare go back and remove the bullets? No it was to risky.

* * *

Abby loved caffeine, and her favorite way of getting it? Caff-pows, defiantly won. She could drink three of four a day if she wanted to, but usually limited herself to two. 

It was eight thirty, and she had a bit of a craving for it already. She had been trying not to drink them until past nine, but no matter how much sugar she ate at breakfast, she always wanted one early in the morning.

The taste on cocoa puffs were still in her mouth as she got back to work on a project from yesterday. It was DNA and, possibly, she hoped, some hacking. Hacking and Caff-Pows were a great combo.

Her thoughts drifted back to the drink.

"Abs?" Came Gibbs' voice. It sounded different somehow.

"Caffeine!" Abby lunged at him, making him scowl more. He hated that word right now. Caffeine. "Gibbs. Why don't you have coffee. Oh no! What happened?" The last time she had seen hi without coffee was at a brunch with Ducky, Her, Gibbs and Gibbs' ex-wife. Sometimes, she noticed they made him hate coffee.

"We'll be having a little meeting in here." he sighed sitting down. Now Abby knew something was wrong Gibbs NEVER sat. Not even when he had to do desk work.

Abby took out her cell phone and called Ducky and handed it to Gibbs who told Ducky to get down to Abby's lab.

Abby then dialed McGee, who was rather confused.

They got Tony's answering machine, meaning, and it took Abby a minute to explain this to Gibbs, that he had another call. Gibbs was insistent that, if he were talking to someone they would get a bust signal.

"But, Gibbs. It's a cell phone!" She told him, with pleading eyes. But Gibbs refused to understand.

"Fine. We'll just call Kate." but, before Abby could complete dialing Kate's number Kate walked in.

"Your turning into Gibbs!" Abby announced, relieving her of her stuff, "your always prepared AND your psychic!" Abby smiled cheerfully.

"Let's call Tony again." Gibbs sighed as Ducky entered.

"Caitlin, what is going on?" he whispered into her ear. She shrugged, and the pair sat down. Why did Abby have so many chairs? Wondered Kate.

Tony and McGee arrived about five minutes later.

"So, Gibbs, you have called us all here for a meeting?" Abby looked at him and took a sip of her Caff-Pow!

"I have bad news," He begun.

"Your house was blown up?"

"You got a pet cat and it died?"

"You got re-married?"

"Janice decided to kill you?

"Skywalker died?"

All pitched in their respective ideas.

"No," He fiddled with his sleeve, "I guess it's worse than bad. Terrible really."

"You had sex with an ex-wife and she became pregnant?"

"Your pregnant?"

"Were all being fired?"

"The Caff-Pow! Machine blew up?"

"We have to work with a k-9 unit?"

* * *

TBC… Maybe? 


	2. Revenge

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

* * *

_Gibbs sat in the doctors waiting room. He had a 6am appointment, for a physical, what he thought he be like any other one._

_It was a Tuesday, meaning it was a school day. Two mothers were trying to keep tracking of their respective children, who were in before school. Gibbs had been on of those kids once. His mother wouldn't let him miss school unless he was dead. Or near death. She had sent him to school once with a slight fever, diarrhea, and a note to his teachers saying to please let him go to the restroom as needed._

_Across the room from him was a pregnant lady, who he guessed was no more than 19._

_Gibbs liked to go early in the morning, because it was less likely that you would have to wait. Gibbs looked at his watch. 6:30. He sighed a took another sip of his coffee, watching the children. One came up to him and looked at him. The kid, looked about age four._

"_Hi." the child smiled._

"_Hi." Gibbs took another sip of his coffee._

"_I have a question." he told Gibbs. The boys mother was bust chasing after his older sister, who looked about seven. It amazed Gibbs how out of control some children could be._

"_What is it?" Gibbs took another sip of his coffee. He had gotten a larger size than normal, because he knew he would have to be at the doctors._

"_Where do babies come from?" the boy giggled and ran off, yelling "Poopy!" Why did this child remind him of DiNozzo, so much?_

_He looked up and saw the shocked look on the pregnant girls face._

"_Leroy Gibbs?" A nurse asked from the desk, Gibbs begun to stand up, "It'll be another half hour." Slightly annoyed he slid back into his seat, and prepared to take another sip of coffee. The cup was empty._

"_I'll be right back." He told the nurse/receptionist, she nodded._

_Gibbs headed down to the main level of building where they sent all their blood tests, or those needing very minor surgeries. One woman was waiting in that waiting room. Right outside the waiting room for blood tests was a small concessions stand, so that those who hadn't eaten for 36 hours could get something to eat immediately after their blood had been taken or the surgery completed.. It was a devilish scheme, really._

_Gibbs asked to have his cup refilled and the worker nodded, asking if he would like room for cream. Gibbs shook his head no. He paid for his coffee and headed back up the stairs._

_It was a pricey coffee, by far, and it wasn't that great either, but, desperate times called for desperate measures._

_He sat patiently waiting until the nurse stood up._

"_Leroy?" She asked, as if she was his friend, "The doctor will see you now." she sounded like a very nice person, but her smile was starting to annoy Gibbs._

_It was fake, and to big. It was one of those smiles that are sarcastic, but somehow not, because the person who is smiling at you has somehow managed to convince themselves that you are their, depending on your age and gender, true love, best friend, or child. And they love to be around you. A lot._

_Gibbs followed her to a room, and although he could not see her face, he had a suspicion that she was still smiling._

_She left and soon a different nurse came in. After weighing him, taking his heart rate and murmuring to himself, the nurse left and the doctor arrived._

_She was in her late 30's and had light brown hair. She was wearing it in an award looking pony tail. It reminded him of his second wife._

_The doctor continued to examine him and soon asked him a question._

"_Leroy? How much coffee do you drink?" he had been sipping at his coffee throughout the exam._

"_Lots." she gave a slight chuckle then became deadly serious._

"_Coffee, although good tasting, can have some negative effects on your health." she informed him, "So, I would like to see you go off coffee for two weeks."_

"_Sorry. No can do." Gibbs told her as he put his shirt back on._

"_Perhaps you misunderstood me." she told him, pouring the remainder of his coffee down the small sink in the room. "No coffee for two weeks or else." she glared at him._

_Gibbs somehow managed to keep from blowing up in her face._

_

* * *

_

'I'm worried about him' an instant message from Kate appeared on Tony's screen. They had found out the news nearly an hour ago and Gibbs wasn't looking so great. It wasn't that he was overly tired, he just looked pissed.

Very super pissed, Kate noticed. Like when her father had caught her brother and his girlfriend. Well, she didn't want to think about that.

'You really want to leave, don't you?' came Tony's reply.

'The tension is horrible.' she typed right back.

"Uh… Kate?" Kate looked away from her computer, to see Tony looking at her.

"What?" she questioned him.

"You don't look so well." He commented. Kate guessed that Tony knew what he was doing, "Your kinda pale."

She shrugged and went back to work.

"Todd. Tony's right. You don't look so great." Gibbs didn't even look up, "Go take an early lunch. Tony?"

"Yes, boss?" He answered briskly.

"Go with her. I don't trust her."

"Yes, sir." The pair left.

"How'd you know to do that?" Kate asked him as the headed down in the elevator.

"Lucky guess." he answered, "Now, I don't want o become a liar, so what say we go get food and eat in the park. It's a beautiful day." Kate nodded in agreement.

* * *

McGee sat at his desk plotting elaborate ways for revenge upon Kate and Tony.

So far he had not come up with anything easily done. All he knew is that they wouldn't find the bodies.

Gibbs stood up and announced that he was going to go see Janice. As he walked away McGee smiled to himself and forgot about his revenge.

"Hey McGee." Abby smiled brightly as she sat down at Gibbs' desk. She had brought with her a rather large box with many postal sticks and symbols upon it, so much you couldn't read what the box said.

"What's that?" McGee was quite interested to know.

"It's Gibbs new computer. I have needed to install it all day, but, since he can't have coffee I didn't want to kick him out of his desk."

"Why not?"

"I'm sure it had nothing to do with his mood." she rolled her eyes and McGee made a mental note not to ask her any questions today.

* * *

Janice had been expecting Gibbs. It was only a matter of time.

"Janice…" he begun.

"Shh…" She soothed and pulled up a chair for him, "I know just what you need." she told him as she turned on her computers speakers. Abby had taught her a lot about technology. She typed something into the address box and turned the monitor to Gibbs.

"This Kangaroo, will say mean things to you as you try and save it's life. It's quite therapeutically, and after killing it a few times, you will feel much, much better." Janice showed him how to play. It was simple really. You played hangman, but if you got four letters wring the kangaroo would die. The game was called HangARoo.

Gibbs immediately hated the creature. He click on 'a' but there were none, and how did the kangaroo respond? 'A? Do you have something against kangaroos?'

"I do now…" he muttered at the screen. Janice patted him on the back.

"I'll be back soon, Punk. Just going to get some cooooffffeeeee!" she sang then waddled away laughing.

* * *

TBC… Maybe? 


	3. Judgment

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

* * *

Hanging the kangaroo had really helped Gibbs, Janice noticed. He seemed less on edge.

Not less on edge than he normally did, of course, but less than that very morning. It would be impossible, to make him less on edge than normal, with out elephant tranquilizers, and lots of them.

* * *

The NCIS director was not looking forward to making this call. News had spread that Gibbs was not allowed to have coffee for 2 weeks, and coffee, made him less irritable.

"_Gibbs!" _The phone was answered sharply.

"And hello to you too. You've got a case." The Director explained the location and such to Gibbs and quickly hung up, slightly afraid.

20 minutes later Gibbs and McGee arrived at the crime scene, after an extremely awkward and dangerous ride, to find Kate and Tony waiting for them.

As they headed up to the gray-ish building, McGee pulled Kate aside.

"He's losing his judgment, Kate." he whispered into her ear.

"What? Why on earth would you think that?" McGee pointed at a sign above the building.

"Oh." Kate replied, agreeing with McGee.

"Tony!" Gibbs yelled.

"Yes sir?" he piped up. Tony had already noticed the sign and was fearing he would not be allowed to work on gathering evidence and such.

"Interview the witnesses inside. I'll get the ones outside." Gibbs couldn't have made Tony happier if he tried, which he hadn't.

"Defiantly." Kate nodded to McGee as they entered Strip-o-Rama, the crime scene.

* * *

"Grandma B?" Abby walked up to Janice sipping the last of her Caff-Pow!.

"Yes?…" answered Janice. It had been a long day filled with lots of questions, mostly from Gibbs' team.

"I'm bored." Abby sat down in a chair next to Janice, "Can I do your job for a bit?" she asked, tossing her Caff-Pow! Cup across the room into a recycling bin.

"Sorry, Nice." Janice told her, "would like some coffee though? I only got it to bug Punk Boy." Abby laughed.

"No, I think I'll get back to doing my job." she skipped off wondering if Gibbs was going to bring her another Caff-Pow!

* * *

Tony loved his job today. He was surrounded by beautiful half naked women, flashing lights and alcohol, and the best part? He was being paid to be there. Of course, there were down sides. In addition to interviewing the girls he also had to interview the perverted guys there who had called in sick to work.

"Probie!" he yelled out.

"What?" came McGee's dull answer.

"Interview all male witnesses." Tony instructed him, "and don't roll your eyes." McGee rolled them again.

* * *

"So, your name's Samantha, and you've been working here for how long?"

"Three years."

"Okay, and what did you see?"

"Not much really. I was on the back pole over there, one minute I was dancing the next everyone was screaming, and that guy was dead."

"Okay, that's all, except, are you doing anything tonight?"

"No, actually, I'm not."

"Would you like to go get dinner or-"

"Hey? Is that Caitlin Todd?"

"Yes…?"

"Kate!" Samantha shouted at her.

"Oh my gosh! Sam!" Kate put down the evidence and headed over, she hadn't seen Sam in years. They had been neighbors, forever, really, they had gone to the same schools until high school when Kate had moved, but they had kept in touch until about 4 years ago. Sam had long blonde hair and was a few inches taller than Kate, as she always had, but then again, Kate was wearing shoes with an inch of a heel and Sam was barefoot, "Want tog o get dinner later?" Kate asked smiling at her old friend.

"I'd love to."

"By the way, don't go out with Tony." the two smiled at each other and Tony made a mental note to go through Kate's purse and get Sam's number.

* * *

McGee was not having great luck with the men. All of them had been to busy staring at the girls to remember seeing anything. Well, that wasn't true, many had gone into great detail about the girls and how suddenly, one of them had seen the dead dude and the show had stopped.

A lot of them were quite angry at the dead guy. Mostly, for dying while they were there. It sickened McGee and for a moment he wanted to hang out with Abby and complain about men, but he remembered that he was male as well.

* * *

Abby was in her lab, talking to herself. It wasn't uncommon, for her to do, really. She had lied to Grandma B and felt bad about it, no, Abby was not working, she was taking online quizzes.

Into the URL box she typed 'Quizilla' and a link to click on came up underneath, as she had visited the site before.

She clicked on search and typed in 'Coroner', wondering what types of quizzes she would get for that. 5 results. She clicked on the first one, 'Which Johnny Depp Character is Your Ideal Mate?'. Abby had a bit of a thing for Johnny Depp.

The first questioned aske dher about what she liked to do in her free time and she selected; read, solve mysteries, be physically pleasured, and sail the high seas

She answered the rest of the questions quickly. And got her answer; Edward Scissorhands.

Yeah, okay, she could go for that. Abby clicked the back button a couple times to take another quiz.

* * *

The team had finished gathering evidence and Gibbs loaded them into the van.

"Were going to make a quick stop so I can get Abby some Caff-Pow!s" the team brushed off the plural, as a mistake due to lack of coffee, but were soon to be proven wrong.

Out of the shop cam Gibbs and Skywalker each holding two Caff-pows!.

"See, ya, Obi-Wan!" Skywalker waved, and Gibbs gave him a nod.

Tony pulled Kate close to him, "I think his judgment is going."

"Really?" she responded sarcastically.

* * *

Each member of the team carried a Caff-Pow! Into NCIS and then to Abby's lab, where, on the walls hung printed out results of every quiz she had taken while they were gone.

"Got you Caffeine Abby. I've decided that, you should drink enough for the both of us."

"Ha! Ha! No way, boss man. I drink three of these a day tops. I've ODed on Caff-Pows! before, and believe me, that was not a pretty site!" She laughed sipping loudly from one of the cups.

* * *

TBC… 


	4. Depressed

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

You can find HandARoo at; www. Mini clip. Com / hangaroo Remove the spaces.

About the Obi-Wan and Skywalker thing- I didn't want to name the Caff-Pow! guy,so, I baised their "friendship" off how my friend and this guy at a comic book store interact. Except that instead of Obi-Wan and Skywalker, My friend is "Spidey" and the comic book guy (Who's real name is Sean.) is "Superman"

* * *

A lone Caff-Pow! sat in the lab's fridge, contemplating suicide. The only ones to keep it company were some blood samples and an irate piece of pie.

It had been placed in it's solitude by an abnormally peppy girl. It could still remember that fateful conversation…

"_Drink it McGee!" ordered the peppy girl._

"_But I don't want to." he whined back. It was not a smart move. The peppy girl stood up and went to the other side of the room. The Caff-Pow! She was drinking was the second that The Left Over one had seen that day. The girl was a brutal killer, with no mercy, and now, she was recruiting minions to kill off even more Caff-Pows! The lone Caff-pow! Realized that they weren't exactly 'endangered' (very few people ever drank more than one in their lifetime. It said so on the cup.), but, this was way out of hand!_

_The Caff-Pow! Noticed the 'McGee' person leave with the Caff-Pow!_

_Peppy growled to herself as she leaned over a large book with thin pages, murmuring to herself._

"_Bakers, bakers, bakers…" her voice trailed off before she gave a triumphant yell._

_Then, the peppy girl picked the lone Caff-Pow! up. As much as it hated her, the Caff-pow! sincerely hoped that, it would be drunk. But instead she put the Caff-Pow! in a refrigerator, with some blood samples and an irate piece of pie._

_Peppy, had left Caff-Pow! for the next, day it assumed. But then again, it had assumed she was going to drink it when she had first picked it up._

_

* * *

_

Abby and Kate walked into NCIS headquarters together carrying a box about the size of Gibbs' new computer and a plastic bag.

All the agents were hard at work when the two entered.

"Gibbs, we know how hard, this break-up with coffee is for you soo…" Abby announced, before the two said in unison; "We brought you break-up food!"

They begun un loading the bag on Gibbs' desk, noticing the slight bags under his eyes.

"Peanut butter…" Kate told him

"Oreos…" Abby put them on top of the jar of peanut butter

"Tissues. Just in case." Abby grabbed at the bag, and placed a box of Kleenex in Gibbs' hands.

"Those were her idea. Not mine." Kate warned him, "and…" she opened the box, "Double chocolate fudge cake."

"I want to break up." Tony whined looking at the food. Gibbs just gave them a blank stare, stood up and left.

"Fine." Abby said sitting down in Gibbs' seat. She opened the Oreos and peanut butter before dipping the cookie into the jar.

Kate took a cookie as well and moved her chair closer to the food. She didn't usually eat stuff like this, but, once in a while was okay.

McGee was smart enough to figure out that he shouldn't try and take and food, but, also he had a stomach ache from the Caff-Pow! Abby had forced him to drink. He watched as Tony attempted to sneak his hand into the box of cookies and get his hand slapped away.

* * *

Gibbs was off and away somewhere, and the team was avoiding him. Ducky however was not aware the Gibbs was on the prowl, and while murmuring to himself bumped into him.

"So, how the, um… Anti-coffee?" He guessed, it was not good. Ducky knew that coffee could be very bad for you but, Gibbs without was, well, to say the least, semi-hazardous.

"I'll be going." Ducky gave Gibbs a pat on the back and headed off in a hurray to go see Janice. She would know what to do.

* * *

Janice was always on top of things, whether it was gossip, work, sex, or ANYTHING, she always knew what to do, before most others, and Janice was worried.

She had good reason to be too. Gibbs had a gun, Gibbs wanted coffee, Gibbs couldn't have coffee and now, she had to deliver a message to him. About coffee. She hoped he had heard the phrase 'don't kill the messenger'. The message was from Starbucks, wanting to know if he was ill, because he hadn't been in for a couple days. The manager had almost reported him missing and wanted to talk.

Perhaps she would use the phone.

* * *

Gibbs came back from his walk even more upset. He had gotten Janice's call, saying he should probably call Starbucks to put their minds at ease and explain that he would be back in a few weeks, and now he was thinking of coffee.

"Team! Get me Starbucks' number. Now!" He ordered, he would put their minds at ease. And he would end up ordering a coffee. By accident of course.

"Boss, your not supposed to have coffee-" McGee stopped talking mid sentence and begun gesturing at someone behind Kate.

"Uh... Boss! Look!" Kate pointed behind him, but her attempt at distracting him was useless.

"Abby," he begun calmly, not wanting to jump to any sudden conclusions, "Is that my coffee maker, and coffee bags from my HOUSE?" he roared, unable to contain himself.

"I normally wouldn't have taken it, but, your doctor called and told me to so I-"

"You followed a complete strangers instructions? AND answered my phone?" he interrupted.

"Something like that." she sulked off leaving the over-sized machine on Kate's desk.

"Abby?" McGee got up and went after her.

* * *

Abby sat in her lab expecting to be fired. She had always been insecure about her job, at the one before this she had been fired, because she acted like she did at NCIS. It wasn't Gibbs' fault that he was irritable, no that was the lack of coffee.

He would probably never get her a Caff-Pow! Again. Hm... Caff-Pow! That reminded her. She still had one in her refrigerator from yesterday.

Greedily she grabbed it and begundrinking when McGee entered.

"Gibbs says he's not going to fire you." McGee sat down next to her, and gave her a slight rub on the back.

* * *

Kate got up, she was worried about Abby, but she had to do her job, and her job involved figuring out crimes, and catching bad guys. And part of catching bad guys was looking a crime scene photos.

She grabbed the file of pictures and headed back to her desk to look at them. The coffee machine had since been moved to an undisclosed location.

"Tony!" She yelled out disgusted, "Did you take these pictures?"

Both Gibbs and Tony came over.

"DiNozzo, these are all of alive people…" Gibbs' voice trailed off. He didn't even care that Tony had taken pictures of all the dancers butts, "You weren't supposed to be taking pictures, at all, much less of alive ones."

She was going to put a stop to this before Gibbs killed Tony. She had enough cases to work without one more being added.

* * *

TBC… 


	5. Mistaken

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

* * *

Tony lay in his apartment staring at the ceiling. It was a rather bland ceiling, contrary to popular belief, well, Kate anyway, he did not have a mirror OR posters on it. He could hear the person in the apartment above him pacing back and forth. He had been pacing for the past 3 hours and it was starting to annoy Tony, as he reached over to the phone by his beside to call management, his cell phone rang. Deciding that it was probably more important to answer that then to call management, he rolled out of bed.

It was Abby. Why, he wondered, would Abby be calling him.

"Yes, Abby?" he answered, half heartedly.

"Has Gibbs called you yet?" this was a rather odd question, but knowing Abby, there was probably a reason. Weather of not it was a good reason, was yet to be decided.

"No, why?"

"Kate called me and told me that someone called her murmuring about coffee, and that McGee called her and asked if she had gotten a call like that and she obviously had, and she called me on my home phone from her home phone so, McGee called her cell from his cell, and now I'm talking to Kate on my home phone and you on my cell to your cell and Gibbs is talking to McGee on McGee's home phone form his home phone and so basically, we all wanted to know if-" a ring in the distance interrupted their conversation.

"One sec, Abby." Tony got up to go answer his phone, knowing it would be Gibbs.

"Coffffeeee." moaned a voice on the other end. He hung up.

"Abby, I just got a call from Gibbs. I hung up." he ran back over to his cell, which he had, for some unknown reason , left on the other side of the room.

"You hung up on Gibbs?" he heard her say, "Kate, he hung up on Gibbs!"

"Gibbs hung up on McGee." Tony heard a distorted sounding version of Kate's voice.

"I'm hanging up Abby." Tony hung up.

* * *

After the phone call, Tony could not get back to sleep, and things were not much better for Ducky either, who spent most of his night telling Gibbs, that, no he was not going to, a) Give him coffee or b) tell him where the team had hidden his coffee machines. Then, after Ducky had hung up on Gibbs, after about three hours, he had laid awake, hoping Gibbs didn't go to Starbucks.

Or the Java Hut. Or any where in general, that served coffee.

Meanwhile, Gibbs wasn't getting much sleep either. He was too busy planning, what, he in his tired state, thought to be, the most brilliant plot ever plotted. He also thought it was pretty damn hilarious.

* * *

Gibbs walked into the office the next morning, visibly tired, but grinning like a mad man.

In front of him he saw a small-ish dark blob jumping up and down.

"Abby!" he yelped.

"Yes, Sir!" she bounced over a saluted him.

"Abby, get me a cup of java." it was all he could do to keep from laughing out loud. Abby to had to bite her lip, though not for the same reason.

She had suspected he would attempt something like this, and she had it all planned out.

"I'll bring it to your desk." she smiled sweetly as she skipped off to her lab.

* * *

Abby came up to Gibbs desk, cup in hand. It was silver and it had a lid. The whole team looked at her like she was crazy.

Smiling to himself Gibbs took the cup. It was cold but he didn't care.

But as he took a sip he realized that he shouldn't have been as so stupid to think his pan would work.

Nothing came out. He shook it a bit, not even noticing Abby slowly backing up to her lab. Opening up the cup he found a few pieces of paper.

"what the-" he started, McGee and Tony rushing to him.

"Ohhh! Java!" McGee smiled looking at the text that Gibbs did not recognized.

"This isn't java…" Gibbs growled.

"Java script, like on computers." Tony explained. Although he had no personal knowledge of Java, he knew that it was for or, at the very east, related to, computers.

"Abby gave him Java Script?" Kate laughed. It was classic. She guessed Gibbs had tried to trick Abby into getting him some 'java' and Kate guessed, though she didn't know for sure, that Abby realized what he was attempting to do, and essentially gave him what he asked for.

* * *

"Gibbs!" Kate looked up from her work, "I've found a lead. Apparently, the guy in the strip club had a girlfriend."

"Bring her in!"

* * *

A woman who looked no more than 25 sat in interrogation. Gibbs had foolishly suggested that Tony interrogate her.

"So, lets see with what we know so far," Tony started, looking into her eyes, "Your boyfriend and you were still dating at the time of the incident? Right?"

"Yes…" she answered timidly.

"And I guessing the relationship had problems. He was gone for a year, and was back for about three months before he was killed, and when are you due?" he asked her only to receive a blank stare.

"Oh dear god." Kate murmured from behind the glass, McGee's eyes looked as though they would pop out of his head, and Gibbs started rubbing his head.

The lady looked at Tony.

"What? It's obvious it's not his unless your more than a year over term!" Tony's hands flew in the air.

Behind the glass Kate and McGee looked at Gibbs, wondering what he was going to do.

"I'm not pregnant." growled the suspect.

"Get him out of there…" Gibbs told a guard who was attempting to, and failing to, suppress his laughter.

* * *

"How was I supposed to know she wasn't pregnant!" Tony flopped into his chair.

"Who's not pregnant? Gibbs? I know. And get off me." Abby pushed Tony off.

"Sorry…" he shrugged sitting on the floor.

"She didn't even _look _pregnant!" Kate exclaimed.

"It was pretty funny though. You accused her of-" McGee started.

"We were there."

"I wasn't. Keep going."

"Tony thought a lady was pregnant and accused it of being someone else's." McGee burst into hysterical laughter.

"It's not that funny…" Abby shrugged.

"You had to be there." Kate told her and surprisingly Gibbs agreed.

* * *

TBC… 


	6. Scared

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Does anyone else really, _really, **really, really**_, like the new way to search. I do!

Also, NCIS virtual season three!

What is that, you may very well ask, Well, Cerisi J. A user has created a site that will be publishing storys every week started when NCIS does, when KATE IS ALIVE. You can find the site at: http /ww w.ncis.p /main.h tml She is still looking for people to write episodes. I personally, am writing two. One is called Chef's surprise and the other will either be called Hate and Love or Four Letter Words. They are CASE FILES, so check it out. And, onto the story…

* * *

Abby sat in her lab reading. This was the first thing Kate noticed as she entered. Then she noticed Abby was chuckling to herself. 

"Funny book?" Kate questioned, as she sat down before she realized it was a baby name book, "You aren't pregnant, are you?"

Abby looked up.

"Hi, no, I was bored so I decided to read this. I was looking up the meaning of names, and Gibbs' means 'King'!" Kate chuckled.

"Anyway, I wanted to know if you wanted to go get lunch." she sat down in one of the many chairs.

"Sure!" Abby stood up and skipped across the lab to grab her purse and the two headed out.

* * *

Skywalker knew almost everything about Obi-Wan. He knew he was addicted to coffee, and that he had not been in for a Caff-Pow! yet. After preparing a Caff-Pow! And a very special coffee he adjusted the sign on the door to say it was closed and he would be back in around an hour. Naturally, he didn't give the time he had left. What was the fun in that?

* * *

Skywalker was not one for metal detectors. They detected metal, which he had a lot of. Most in places that he didn't display a lot. Specifically, his nipples. 

The guard did not believe him and made him take off his shirt. Janice enjoyed this. The guard would call her down when any male had to strip so that she could watch. She was slightly disappointed that a) The young boy only had to remove his shirt and b) It wasn't Freddy in advertising.

Yes, for some reason unknown to her, NCIS had an advertisement division. Mostly, they charged their lattés to company accounts, however, they did look rather nice. Freddy was a rather nice person, and she called him, 'The Nice Boy', she could be very creative that way. If Geeky hadn't been totally in love with The Nice Girl, she would have set up to two nice's on a date.

The boy holding a Caff-Pow! Had been cleared by the guard, and was asking him a question, the guard pointed a Janice.

"Hello, do you know where I could find Obi-Wan? He drinks a lot of coffee and-" Janice stopped him knowing exactly who he was thinking of.

"You can find punk boy down the hall to the left and into the bull pen." she smiled, "And you might want to put on your shirt. No excuse me, but I have to go see Freddy." Janice smiled and the old lady made her way to advertising.

* * *

Skywalker had just turned left when he ran into (Literally.) two girls. One, he noticed was slightly goth and the other, well, wasn't. 

"Is that a Caff-Pow? Do you drink them too?" the goth girl asked genuinely, curious.

"I don't drink them. I was bringing it to Obi-Wan. He drinks a lot of coffee, and-" the not goth girl interrupted him.

"Well, Gibbs doesn't drink them. Abby does. She and Kate are leaving for lunch right about now. If you hurry you might be able to catch them…. Turn at the next right." the two girls hurried off, and Skywalker smiled, despite the rudeish way he had been talked to. 'Abby' drank the Caff-Pow!'s.

* * *

Tony, Gibbs and McGee watched as Kate and Abby made their way (Chatting quite loudly), to the least used exit in the building. All came to the same conclusion; they were going to get lunch and wanted to avoid running into Janice or the guard. McGee came to the conclusion that he didn't know the guard's name. Gibbs thought he smelled coffee, approximately 100 yards away, and heading in the general direction of the bull pen. Tony remembered something he'd read once. 

"Is it true that when women spend a lot of time together they start, you know?" he asked getting looks from both Gibbs and McGee.

"I've heard that's true…" McGee said after about 30 seconds. Gibbs smelt the coffee getting closer.

"Have you noticed that, Kate and Abby, spend a lot of time together…?" Tony was starting to scare himself, sure, rarely, did he sense any PMS vibes coming from either but, if they had them at the same time… Well, he didn't want to go there.

"I'm scared…"McGee and Tony both jumped out and ran after them, leaving Gibbs alone.

"Coffee." he growled.

* * *

Gibbs met Skywalker down as he entered the bullpen. 

"Obi-Wan. I brought you coffee and I brought Abby a Caff-Pow!" Skywalker, said bowing his head slightly.

Gibbs was about to take the coffee when Freddy stepped in.

"Ohhh! Is that my mocha latte'? Took long enough. Charge it to the company account." Freddy grabbed the coffee and hurried away. He loved being Janice's minion.

Freddy, would rarely on down to the bull pen or near Gibbs. He scared him. But, for Janice, well, he would do almost anything.

Gibbs glared at Freddy before turning to Skywalker.

"Abby and Kate went out the back door for lunch." Gibbs turned and Skywalker headed after him, glad that Gibbs was walking quickly. He'd not realized how cold Caff-Pows! Could be, and hoped that Abby had not gotten frostbite from one of the drinks. That would be a nasty law suit.

* * *

Tony and McGee invited themselves into Kate and Abby's booth, interrupting a conversation that Tony wished her could have listened in on, however, there were more pressing matters at hand, such as separating them. 

"So, seriously, Kate. I think their bigger than normal I mean they certainly feel that way." Abby shrugged.

"Excuse me." Tony stepped over Kate and sat next to her while McGee sat next to Abby and pushed her a bit closer to the center of the booth, and away from Kate.

"What they hell?" Kate hit Tony's shoulder.

"What seems bigger?" Tony raised his eyebrows at Abby trying to get her to continue talking.

"Puppies." Kate and Abby responded in unison, then laughed and gave each other a high five.

"Can I start you off with something to drink?" asked a teenage waitress, with sandy blonde hair.

"Water." said Kate.

"Root beer." Tony smiled.

"I'll have a…" Abby paused thinking.

"I'll have a strawberry lemonade." McGee told the waitress.

"She'll have a Caff-pow, I'll have a Sprite and he'll have a water." Gibbs told the waitress joining his team, we should invite Ducky." He told them and Abby pulled out her cell phone.

"And can we get a tea, please?" Tony ordered for Ducky.

"Are you Abby?" Skywalker asked, Kate.

"No, I am!" Abby said sharply. Both she and Kate were angry about having their lunch interrupted.

"Hi. I'm Luke."

"Is that your real name?" asked Gibbs.

"Yup."

Both sat down and waited for Ducky to arrive.

* * *

TBC… 


	7. Without

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

* * *

The next morning was beautiful, sunny, warm and all around a great way to start the day, for most people. Those who would usually drive to work well, they were driving but they weren't giving the finger every five seconds. In fact, no one had given the finger all day. Everyone but one person seemed to be having a great day. 

Gibbs was not aware of the sunny-ness, happiness or any other ness as he was barely functioning.

As he walked into NCIS head quarters he bumped into a line, so, he stopped. Unbeknownst to him was that Freddy was stripping. He was not aware of the fact that Janice had planted large amount of metal on Freddy so she could finally see him strip.

The person in front of Gibbs turned around cheerfully.

"Hee hee. Looks like were going to be here for a while!" he stated. Gibb saw a blurred version of the figure. Mostly it consisted of various grays, however, right where ones tie might go was bright red and green. Gibbs glared at the person.

"Hee hee. That glare is fab! Hee hee. I'm new! Hee hee. I';m in intern!" The intern clapped and Gibbs ignored him.

"Next." Called the security guard after clearing Freddy. The Intern was quickly cleared and so was Gibbs. The Intern went straight to Janice, as Gibbs trudged off to the bull pen.

* * *

Kate walked into the bull pen after visiting Ducky. Now, she was talking on her phone to a friend of hers. Once again, she had been early to work. 

"Really? Hmm.. Wait! I have a hunch. One sec." Kate put her phone on her desk and looked right at Tony. "Do you ever go to the library?"

Tony looked at her and glared, "What's that supposed to mean? Of course I go to the library!" Kate smiled.

"And do you hit on the librarians?" Tony considered lying, but Abby had just walked in and spoiled his plans.

"Yes, he does. Last three times I went with him it was the same librarian." Abby chuckled and Tony glared at her.

"What's the librarian look like?" Kate inquired.

"Actually, kinda like you. Except a bit more artistic." Abby made strange hand movements, that seemed to be an imitation of an artist morphing clay.

Kate picked up her phone. "Josie, you Greasy-Italian-Pervert has a name. Tony DiNozzo." Abby slapped her knee and laughed while Tony's mouth fell open.

"You two went to the library…together?" McGee asked weakly.

"Yeah. But It's totally different than when you and I go." Abby smiled evilly at McGee who gave a sigh a of relief. Tony's and Kate looked at them their eyes growing wide.

* * *

"Gibbs! You didn't shave!" was the first thing Gibbs heard upon entering the bull pen. Behind him was The Intern smiling happily. The team did not notice The Intern. 

From his desk Tony pulled a bottle of shaving cream and a new razor. He tossed them to Abby who had noticed the problem, and with little fuss from Gibbs threw him in a chair and starting to shave him.

Luckily, for them, Gibbs could not hear their laughter as Abby gave him a goatee.

* * *

The NCIS director was the director because he could make tough decisions. Very tough ones. Even ones as tough as this one. He picked up his phone, there was still time to back out, except that, shot! He had dialed. 

"Yo." came the answer. The director sneered, and started second guessing himself again.

"There's a dead marine at Steve's Roller Disco. You get to investigate."

"Why didn't you call Gibbs?" asked the man on the phone. The director gave him the death glare even though the man could not see him. As if the answer wasn't obvious.

"Because, I don't want him being the boss for the next week and 2 days…" he murmured this quite quickly, and unfortunately, the voice understood.

"Did you tell him this?"

"No. I'm leaving that to you." The director hung up and soon his phone was ringing. He didn't answer it.

* * *

"Um.. Apparently, we have a dead body at Steve's Roller Disco, and I'm the boss until Gibbs can have coffee again?" Tony smiled weakly at the team. Gibbs had been dozing in his chair for the past half hour and was now more awake. His reaction had been him moving his eyes. 

"Go without me." he said dramatically.

Tony looked at him. What were they supposed to do? Go one man short? No. He thought not. But who? Abby? Maybe?

"Hee hee. I'll go!" The Intern Replied cheerfully.

"Who are you?" Kate asked, sneering slightly.

"Hee Heee. Hargrove Paul Morris." Tony and Kate studied him.

"We'll call you Intern." both said at the same time. Intern smiled happily and went off to go get the van.

* * *

"Are you Steve?" Tony asked leaning on the counter of the roller disco. 

"Yes." replied a lean looking man no older than 39. He was wearing a slivery suit and roller stakes, "you hear to investigate?"

"Yup." Tony smiled.

"Well, what are you're shoe sizes? The guys on the rink and we don't allow street shoes." Tony looked over at the rink where a dead marine lay. It was dim, the only light coming from three black lights, two spot lights and, of course, a disco ball. 'Barbie Girl' played in the distance.

"Kate, size 8, womens, I take a size…" Tony paused debating about what size shoe he wanted to say he wore, "11. McGee will take size 9, and Intern will take.. Intern? What size shoe do you wear?"

"Hee Hee 7."

"So," Steve said returning with their skates, "You really wear a size 11 shoe?"

"Oh yeah." Both men grinned and Kate rolled her eyes, taking her shoes rather forcefully.

"Hee hee. Um… Agent Caitlin Todd? Hee hee, uhh their's a dead guy on the rink? Hee hee. Why are we going skating?" Kate looked at Intern who was already ready to skate.

"Because, we're processing the crime…" did Intern know nothing?

* * *

TBC…Maybe. 


	8. Caught

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

* * *

Poke, poke, poke. What the hell was poking him? Gibbs awoke with a start only to find himself in Autopsy. Ducky and Abby were both poking him with tongue suppressers. Both smiled and looked at him.

"See, young Abby? Our Gibbs is not dead." Ducky patted Abby on her back gently. Gibbs glared at both and soon Abby started to tell the story…

_

* * *

_

_Abby stood in her lab swishing her lab coat about her feet. While she did this one hand patted her stomach and the other rubbed her head. She was also chewing gum, and in case it wasn't obvious enough, she was bored to death._

_Thank goodness her will was all in good order._

_Sighing she stopped her boredom fighting tactics and headed out of her lab to go see Gibbs._

_Kate had told her that he told them to go to the crime scene without them._

_Abby skipped happily through the halls waving at people as she went, however, her joyfulness stopped as she reached Gibbs._

_His head was on his desk, his whole body limp. Abby ran over to him and half-shouted Gibbs a few times before she kicked him in the shin. Scared to death she leaned him back in his wheelie chair and begun rolling him to Ducky._

_NCIS, was surprisingly normal in one sense. It was completely out of the ordinary to see someone rolling a seemingly dead body down the hallway. However, no one paid attention, because, after all, Gibbs was being pushed by Abby. Most just assumed that a case involving elephant sedatives had gone wrong, or that Gibbs had talked to her about Rule number 12._

_Either way, it made a strange sort of sense._

"_Ducky!" she called out, "I think Gibbs is dead!"_

_

* * *

_

After adjusting to roller skates Kate, Tony, McGee and Intern were processing a crime scene like never before. Not that they were doing any better or worse than normal but, none of them had ever processed a scene on roller skates. Heck, Intern hadn't EVER processed a crime before.

There wasn't very much in the way of evidence until Kate stumbled upon, literally, a pool of red.

"Tony!" she called out and within seconds he too had stumbled upon the pool, "Do you think it's blood?" She asked.

"No. The guy, wasn't bleeding or anything- hey! I'll call Steve over. Steve!" the noise temporally deafened Kate.

"Yes?" Steve slid to a graceful stop.

"This isn't blood. Do you know what it is?"

"Corn syrup and red food coloring. Been there since Saturday, I reckon. About 12:45 am, so Sunday I guess." Steve shrugged and was about to turn away.

"Why Saturday?" Kate asked after taking a picture and a sample.

"Because, that's when we kill Eddie…?" Steve said this like everyone should know what he was talking about. Not to Kate's surprise, Tony smiled and said 'ahhh''.

* * *

"Ducky? Why aren't you at the crime scene?" Gibbs asked sitting up.

"There's a crime scene? Hm… No one told me." Ducky scowled as he hit Gibbs knee rather forcefully, to check his reflexes. The results was weaker than normal, but nothing to worry about.

"It's at Steve's roller Disco." Abby offered. Ducky immediately starting gathering his stuff. Abby jumped off the table and skipped off to somewhere, leaving Gibbs alone.

* * *

"_He's on the move, again." _the director heard a voice come from the walkie talkie on his desk. He smiled to himself and waited for the 'over' to come but it didn't.

"Over?" the director asked in the walkie talkie.

"_Oh, yeah right… Over." _the voice responded.

* * *

Alex Saddle followed the man who the director had told him to follow down the street. He had seen this man around the office many times and assumed the director thought he was a spy or something.

Honestly, Alex was very happy to have been chosen to follow this gray haired man. It was a very big step up from refilling the copiers paper supply, as last week task had been.

His friends would be so excited when they heard he had been following a spy and, he assumed this would happen, single handedly apprehended him. Alex hoped he got into the newspapers. There might be a parade and a day named after him and people would give him stuff. Like a car.

"Sir, he's going into a Starbucks. Over." He said into his walkie talkie.

"_Stop him. Over." _The director replied and Alex sprung into action.

"Nooooooo!" He screamed and tackled the gray haired man as he opened the door to Starbucks. He put a pair of hand cuffs on the man and patted him down, reassuring the bystanders that he worked for the government.

"Ah-ha!" he pulled a gun out of the man pocket and the whole place screamed. Alex grabbed the man, and beaming proudly, begun dragging him back to NCIS.

As they headed off the man screamed about how he was Agent Gibbs, and ex-marine and he just wanted to get some coffee. It was a very bad lie in Alex's opinion.

"Hang on. You can sit here for a moment." Alex thrust the still protesting man onto a bus bench and called a radio station to inform them of what had happened. This was the station the director listened to.

Alex smiled as he told the station what had happened.

As he grabbed Gibbs for the rest of the 20 block walk, his mind filled with thoughts of his parade. It would defiantly have an elephant.

* * *

"I'm here!" Ducky announced, just as the team was starting to wonder where he was, "Abby finally informed me that there was a dead body."

The color dropped from Tony's face as he realized his mistake. Ducky didn't seem to upset by it, but… well, who knew.

"Yes, he's right over there. Where's Jimmy?" Kate asked noticing the lack on the evil assistant.

"Oh yes, Alex had something to do so Jimmy was told to be the copier-paper-re-filler-boy." Ducky shrugged and begun poking at the body, in a very professionally manner.

Steve of the roller Disco wondered whether or not the doctor knew what he was doing. Then again, the man was British.

Steve turned on the radio to his favorite news station and listened to the kind voice of the announcer.

"_In other news, NCIS employee, Alex Saddle, single handedly apprehended a spy. The man reported had a gun and went to Starbucks. We'll have more of that in a minute, but first we'll talk to Annabel French, our intern about what it's like to be working here, at Norfolk's Number 1 news radio."_

The whole team turned to face the radio.

"Ummm… Kate, your with me… were going to see what happened." Tony nodded over to Kate and she skated over. Both returned their skates and headed to the van.

* * *

TBC… Won't continue until I get at LEAST 5 reviews. 


	9. Stupidity

Disaclaimer: none, however, there is a Disclaimer saying that I don't own. But you should already know that.

* * *

Tony and Kate arrived to see many news crews surrounding NCIS headquarters. The press, sensing that Kate and Tony looked official and probably knew something about Gibbs immediately scurried over to them and begun asking question after question. 

Kate, used to the press after dealing with the president, simply stated 'no comment' whilst Tony took advantage of the situation.

"I can assure you that Leroy Jethro Gibbs, is not a terrorist. It was just a misunderstanding. I'm Tony DiNozzo, Di-Capital N-o-z-z-o. I'm looking for a date and my phone number is-" it was at this point that Kate grabbed his shoulder and pulled him into the building.

* * *

Janet had let only one member of the press in. Bob Degas. 

Bob Degas was the sports announcer for the local news. He taught youth football, wrestled and, in Janet's opinion, rivaled Freddy in how good his hair looked.

She was wasting as much time as possible talking to the sly looking reporter who had obviously never covered a serious story in his life. This was projected in the clothes he was wearing (A mussel shirt and jeans.) as well as how he conducted himself and talked

"So, there was like an agent, dude, right? And he went to Starbucks with a gun? Why?" he scratched at his armpit, then adjusted himself murmuring something about his penis.

"Because, he's an agent and- Can I help you?" Janet looked up seeing a none press person enter the building. She looked like a doctor.

"Yes, I'm looking for Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

"We'll help you." Tony smiled, "we're going to see him right now." he put his arm lightly over her shoulder and she responded; Keep your hands off me or you won't be seeing anything again.

Kate laughed and quickly became friends with however the woman was. Tony excused himself and headed off to Abby's lab to complain about women.

* * *

Tony entered the lab and heard the last bit of Abby's phone call. 

"Great. He'll see you there at 9:00 tonight assuming he doesn't get stuck at work." Abby hung up and turned to Tony grinning madly.

"You set me up on a date didn't you?" he asked noting the her TV was on and it was showing live broadcast from outside the building.

"Yup. With a hot brunette. When I learned you were so desperate, I just had to call her." Abby shrugged and put her phone down. She turned to a large cup on which she had written Caff-Pow.

"You think I'm desperate for a date?" Tony choked on a non existent drink and pulled up a chair.

"Well, I you had to announced you were looking for a date on TV, well, hey! Did you know there's a few reporters from national TV? And one from Britain." Abby was slightly hyper. Obviously from the 'caff-Pow' she was drinking. "I bored." She sighed and would have sulked, but was too hyper, so instead, she took another sip of her homemade Caff-Pow.

"Those are never good words when it comes to you." Tony laughed Abby glared at him for a second before bouncing out of her seat raising one finger in the air.

"I have an idea!" she shouted, "and you're going to help me." she grinned evilly and Tony feared for his life. And his clothes. The last time Abby had been bored and recruited him to help they had glitter glued his clothes.

"Muh-ha-ha-ha!" she pulled out some water and put it into a bucket, then added a bit of corn syrup and red food coloring. Why she had all this in her lab, Tony didn't want to know, though he suspected that it had something to do with- well, knowing Abby, it was defiantly something,

"Tony," Abby looked up from the concoction. "Could you go to my desk and in the bottom left drawer, there's a key…" he went over to her left and located it and held it up in the air for her to see. "Now, open the top right drawer, and pull out the-"

"Tampons! There's tampons in your desk!" Tony screamed his arms flying about wildly. Abby chuckled, he looked he might wet himself.

"Yes, grab them and bring them to me." she said slowly and clearly.

Sheepishly, he did so.

Abby ripped open the package and took out a few, opened them and stuck them into the concoction.

As afraid as he was, Tony wanted to know what exactly she was going to do.

"Open the window." She instructed. It was only now that Tony knew what she was going to do and he cackled to himself.

The window now open she threw them out making the crowd scream. Both Abby and Tony fell down next to the window giggling madly as they listened it the horrified moans of the press below.

* * *

"I bet you ANYTHING Tony and Abby had something to do with it." McGee nodded and Kate simply stared at him. This comment was not worth a response. It was possibly more obvious than saying 'Gibbs has an addiction to coffee.' McGee looked at her then the floor then back at her and nodded to the floor again. "Right. Stupid comment." 

Kate nodded in agreement.

Intern, Ducky, and McGee had come back about 30 minutes after Kate and Tony had left. The press had gone crazier over them because they had a dead body. Most had assumed that it was someone Gibbs had killed, the rest had assumed it was Gibbs.

"Hee hee, I'm back!" Intern announced bouncing into the Interrogation Observation room. He jumped back out saying he'd be back in a very bad fake accent. So far, he had bounced in and out five times. He was much more annoying than Tony, if you asked Kate.

And that was defiantly saying something. She turned her attention to the interrogation room where Gibbs sat, his Doctor looking sternly at him.

* * *

The wooden chair in interrogation had held some of the worst smelling scariest people in the nation. It had seen and heard things most people don't even imagine. That chair was a very tough chair. 

However, one thing, other than someone over 450 pounds, made it quiver in fear. Gibbs. Over it's ten years in use it had seen Gibbs many times, but never before had he been sat in by him. Table, Chairs best friend laughed a little bit, but only out of nerve.

Table had been hit many times by Gibbs but had put up with it because there was nothing he could do, but this time was different.

He, and chair, had heard from another chair that Gibbs was not allowed to drink coffee. No coffee defiantly meant no caffeine and this meant Gibbs would be weaker.

Yes, table was going to get his revenge today…

"ughhhhhhhhhhh" moaned Table as he attempted to lift his own weight and fall on Gibbs. It was no use. Chair begun tottering as he laughed and Gibbs stood up.

His doctor was also clearly confused.

"Hee hee. It would seem that the furniture is possessed. Intern stuck his head into interrogation then skipped up to the observation and announced his findings again.

"We know. We can see and hear everything going on in that room." Kate tapped the glass and Intern's mouth fell open.

* * *

TBC.. IF i get enough reviews. 


	10. Worse

Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS, Fountains of Wayne or Must love dogs. Nor do I own the 'Hot Brunette'

Ohh! did anyone see the commercial for the new NCIS season? Here are my comments; Hmm… Grrr… Ahhh! A Gibbs sex scene? Hmm… Intriguing, yet still disturbing.

* * *

"_It has been confirmed that Special Agent Gibbs just wanted a cup of coffee and did not mean harm to anyone in Starbucks. We have this clip from NCIS headquarters earlier today on the incident." _The camera changed views to show Tony and Kate walking into the building, Tony grimaced as he saw how he looked. They defiantly hadn't gotten his good side, and the embarrassment of Kate dragging him into the buildings was well, astronomical.

He clicked off the TV as he buttoned his shirt and prepared for his date. He and the 'Hot Brunette' were meeting outside the movie theater at 8:00 to see 'Must love dogs'. Before the NCIS director had decided to yell at Abby, for what he had described as a 'Brainless, maddening, exasperating, worthless accomplishment.' (It was very obvious he had been misusing his thesaurus privileges.) Tony had asked her how he would know who the 'Hot Brunette' she'd assured him he would know, and left it at that.

He glanced at his watched and headed out to his car, double checking that he had a condom.

* * *

If ever there had been a time someone wanted to be punished by Gibbs, this was that time. Two things contributed to this; One, he could barely stay awake and was weak from being scolded by his doctor, and Two, Abby had not realized how stupid and annoying the NCIS director could be. After the first three minutes of his ranting Abby begun to regret giving him a thesaurus for Christmas. Normally she wouldn't have gotten him anything but as his secret Santa, it had been required.

* * *

McGee sat outside the NCIS building waiting for Abby. He had no bus money and Abby had promised to give him a ride, but after her, and McGee guessed Tony's too, stunt the director had called her up to his office and his yells could be heard throughout the building. The only one who didn't seem to noticed was Gibbs' doctor as she lectured him on his caffeine habit.

"McGee!" A relatively sharp voice said from behind him, "Abby's going to be in there for a while, I'll give you a ride" a drowsy looking Gibbs went over to his car fallowed by McGee who was grateful his will was in order, and became even more grateful as he realized Gibbs' driving was worse when he hadn't had caffeine.

The speedometer read up to 140 mph and McGee had subtle feeling they would be going much faster than that the second they got in the freeway. He was wrong.

Gibbs was still a very bad driver, but now he was a slow bad driver. The speedometer barely reached 20 as the puttered along the freeway attracting lots of attention and the finger. For a few minutes a sparrow had stood on the hood.

McGee looked at his watch. At this rate, he would be home in 45 minutes.

* * *

Tony's head bobbed to the rhythm of a song by Fountains of Wayne. It was heir first CD, before they had become to commercial, Abby had given it to him. He liked it. Song number two reminded him on McGee trying to get Abby and number one reminded him of himself, but song number three was the one he was listening to.

'Denise' was the perfect pre-date song, in Tony's mind, especially if you didn't know the person.

* * *

Small droplets of rain begun splattering on the ground outside the movie theater and the man in the ticket booth watched as a brunette moved under the covering. She had arrived 20 minutes earlier, at 7:35.

She was wearing dark blue jeans and a black shirt, he had asked her what was up and she had explained to him that she was on a blind date but had been to nervous to stay home considering who had set her up on the date. Sighing she leaned back against the wall and waited for the man Abby had described as a 'Hot Brunette'.

Abby had also told her that she wouldn't be able to resist him.

"Kate?" a familiar voice asked from behind her, and she spun around quickly, reaching for a gun that wasn't there, and running right into Tony.

"Umm…, go away; I'm waiting for someone." Kate started turning red and turned away.

"Did Abby tell you to come here?"

"Oh my god! You're the Hot brunette I won't be able to resist!" Kate's hands flew to her mouth and she made a silent vow not to talk to Abby for a day.

"Funny, that's how she described you to me." Tony laughed. Only he could see the hilarity in the situation. Well, maybe it was just that she, Kate, couldn't see it.

"I'm leaving." she spun on her heel and headed back towards the bus stop. Her car was currently in the shop.

"Want a ride?" Tony yelled after her, attracting stares from a few people. One lady moved her children farther away.

* * *

TBC…. 


	11. Gone

Disclaimer: I don't own anything NCIS related. I don't own Canada either. I really want to, though.

Random fact: Sexiest man alive in 1986? Mark Harmon. I was channel surfing last ngiht and saw him so I stopped and then they said that and, I was like 'whoa.'

* * *

As soon as Abby was allowed to leave she found a note from Gibbs on her desk which read in messy, but decodable handwriting; I gave McGee a ride.

Smiling, she picked up her purse and headed to her car, unaware of what was going on with the rest of co-workers at that very moment. And really, as we'll soon find out, she wasn't very aware of what was happening to McGee either…

* * *

Ducky, armed with a hula hoop, sweat pants, water bottle, head band and many other two word, two syllable objects stood in his front lawn practicing his new sport. Extreme Hula Hooping. Or maybe it was Xtreme Hula Hooping! He wasn't sure how the youth was spelling many things these days. It was really quite confusing.

As he practiced a move he liked to call 'Coroners Clap' the alarm on his digital watch went off. Excitedly he gathered his stuff and headed back inside to change. Sure, he was scheduling way to much time for showering and getting dressed but if there was one thing he didn't want to be (other than a car mechanic or in a porn movie) it was late for his first class of American Slang.

"Fo Shizzle." he told himself as he picked out a bow tie that clashed with his suit. Yes, he was going to ace this class. He picked out a pair of pants then reconsidered and grabbed a pair of pants that he had owned before he lost 10 pounds on the Atkins diet.

Baggy-ish pants were the way to go. After all, when one's inRome…

* * *

"Kate?" Tony asked, waving his hand in front of her face. He'd sat next to her on the bus after putting a twenty into the fare box. He hadn't had exact change.

She was doing a very good job of ignoring him, and in fact hadn't even blinked when he flicked her. Tony probably could have done anything to her with out her acknowledging him and normally Tony would have taken advantage of this and gone through her purse or something like that but he had other things on his mind.

Like figuring how to get Abby back for, even if she hadn't intended to, making Kate feel bad and putting Tony in an awkward position.

Wait! That was it!

"Want to plot revenge on Abby?" he asked as the bus bounced over a speed bump. A small smile formed on her face, and reluctantly, she turned to him.

"Okay, what should we do?" she asked and Tony smiled broadly.

"Something to embarrass her…"

"What embarrasses Abby? She called Gibbs a silver haired fox." Kate though back to that day. It had been an odd comment, but it had been Abby. But it had also been Gibbs… That had been an exciting day.

"Good point." both sat back in their seats and fell into deep thought.

* * *

"That was my exit, Boss." McGee pointed at a green sign. Gibbs just looked at him, "but it's okay… you can take the next one too." McGee sat back in his seat and watched an old lady speed by them. Slowly Gibbs puttered along. He had a grinch like smile on his face as he passed the next exit. Now McGee knew he had skipped the first on purpose.

"What are you doing?" He asked preparing to jump out of the car. In what he thought to be a subtle way, he moved his hand towards the lock on the door., but apparently Gibbs noticed and stepped on the gas speeding up to about 70 mph. McGee was thrown back in his seat.

"Getting coffee."

"How? All coffee shops in the US know you aren't supposed to have coffee. Your doctor called most of them and the rest heard it on the news." Gibbs had moved over to the fast lane as McGee said this. His speed had gone up to 80.

"Not in Canada." McGee looked at his pocket compass and noted the direction they were going was NNE, and he knew right then that Gibbs wasn't kidding.

"I'm calling Abby." He held up his phone to show Gibbs that he indeed did have it, and wasn't bluffing, however he should have known better.

Gibbs grabbed the phone and tossed it out of the window into coming traffic where it was run over by a hummer.

"Now, tell me. Do they drive on the other side of the road there?" Gibbs speed up.

"Why me?" McGee buried his head in his hands.

"Because you're the only member of our team who speaks fluent French" Gibbs answered and, slowed his speed to 70 so he could give the finger to a man. "Oh yeah?" Gibbs asked the man, and pulled out his gun. The man next to them was threatening Gibbs with a knife and the fierce look on his face had dropped once he'd seen Gibbs' weapon.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Gibbs told the man. McGee looked at the man in the next car and gave a face that clearly read "Please help me." "I don't know him" and "It's okay, you can kill him." all in one.

Suddenly the car had flung over into an exit heading for the airport. Somehow, McGee had thought they were going to drive.

"You've got your badge, right?" Gibbs asked flying past various cars.

"I leave it at work…" He confessed, ashamed that he did so. Half expecting to be lectured, he was surprised when Gibbs just shrugged.

"So I'm not going?" he asked hopefully.

"Oh, your going all right." Gibbs grinned as they pulled up to the airport. Yes, he was going to get coffee no matter what he had to do to get it. Even if he had to hand cuff him to McGee. Which, was actually what he had in mind.

Airports were very relaxed if you had an official badge and were hand cuffed to a prisoner. Even if that prisoner was an agent as well and you were only hand cuffed to them for your personal gain.

* * *

TBC? 


	12. Superhero

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

* * *

Wearing a pink jumpsuit, she stretched her arms, neck, back and legs out before she proceeded to start her yoga exercise. She was almost the opposite of her daughter in every way, and her curly golden locks proved it. So did the pink. And the yoga. Well, maybe not the yoga.

Her daughter could get into yoga, oddly enough. As she moved into 'tree' she saw a small light in the corner of the room flash indicating someone had pressed the doorbell. It flashed again. The person hadn't heard a ring and tried again. Probably a boy scout. Or maybe a girl scout. She loved their cookie. Especially the mint ones.

She opened the door and recognized one of the three people standing at the door. He was a translator down a the center for deaf and mute people.

'Hello' he signed and she welcomed them into her home.

After they had gotten their message relayed to her a grinch like grin came over she face. There was no need for translation.

* * *

"and that is why you must let us in." Gibbs explained to a TSA person. McGee was being held away by another TSA person, who didn't believe McGee's story that Gibbs was his boss and had kid knapped him to get coffee in Canada.

Of course, they knew who Gibbs was but no one had filmed McGee as he went into the building. They also thought that Gibbs had learned his lesson about coffee.

"Fine." the TSA man rolled his eyes and scurried off to go make arrangements for an emergency flight to Canada.

* * *

Abby pulled on a dark gray NCIS t-shirt as she settled into Kate's couch. It was soft and squishy, but still firm. She'd stopped at Kate's house to make sure she'd actually gone on her date, and apparently, she had. But then, Abby had felt to tired to drive home safely, so she decided to go to sleep. Just for a few hours.

She also hoped she wouldn't interrupt anything. Soon she'd fallen asleep.

* * *

"How do you spell that?" asked the British man. It was the ninth time he'd asked how you spell something. This time the word was 'Dawg'.

But, Jim Franz didn't care. In fact- he kind of enjoyed having someone in the class who wasn't there trying to become something they weren't. He strongly felt that slang fit the man well.

Although Jim was only 26, this man, who was, like, maybe, 90, or something, and deserved Jim's respect more than Jim deserved his insisted on calling him Professor Franz or Master Franz. It had given Jim a large ego boost, not that he needed it.

In fact, the reason he had enough confidence to teach the course was because of his 'Ego Mentor'. His Ego Mentor had been teaching him to become more and more confident, and in fact, just two weeks ago Jim had asked a girl out for the first time. AND he had gotten laid. It had been a good experience.

"D-A-W-G." He told the man without thinking twice. Then, Jim turned around and wrote it on the board showing the entire class his backside. Before his mentor he'd never have been able to do that.

Jim made a mental note to write another 'Thank you' to Tony.

* * *

The first thing Abby noticed when she opened her eyes was that the VCR actually worked. The next thing she noticed was that it was 6:00 in the morning and Kate wasn't there.

With a triumphant punch in the air she smiled smugly and went to go take a shower.

Abby grabbed two black towels from Kate's closet. Kate had insisted that since Abby wouldn't tell her if black was her natural hair color she used the black towels whenever she came over. Carefully she opened Kate's underwear drawer and pulled out the first pair she saw, then went to Kate closet to pick out a pair of pants and a shirt.

She was glad that they wore the same size clothes. Carefully Abby tossed Kate's clothes upon the bed until she found the perfect thing to wear.

Last Halloween she had forced Kate to help her hand out treats to young children (they came from miles around to see Abby house. She went all out, last year alone it had cost her $269 to make it just right.) and Kate's costume was that of a police officer.

A short, black plastic skirt and a tight, navy blue plastic top as well as a pair of fishnets As she made her way to the shower, Abby couldn't help but wonder why Kate still had the costume, and why there was a small rip on the side of the skirt.

Carefully she returned it to it's spot and settled for a pair of blue jeans and a black t-shirt. Not what she would usually wear but…

* * *

Skywalker did a quick run through about his store. It was his once a week gum removal. People would stick it everywhere, and he wanted his shop clean.

As he walked about removing the cobwebs from the hot chocolate machine that no one ever used, he noticed something odd.

Each week he placed 16 Caff-Pow cups near the Caff-Pow machine, this covered Obi-Wan, the brave adventurers and those looking for new chemicals for a week. Normally, there were only two left- always taken by Obi-Wan, but today there were 6. It was way to much of an anomaly to be considered normal. NO, there was only one thing for it- Something had happened to Obi-Wan.

And he, Luke 'Skywalker' would be darned (Not damned. He didn't like that word) if he was going to let anything happen to his best customer and almost slight friend.

Plus, it was a good excuse to walk around wearing his super hero suit without people thinking he was weird.

Happily, he closed up the shop and went to go change. Admiring himself in the mirror, he had only two thoughts 'Darn, I my sparkly blue spandex look good' and 'I hope this doesn't rip'

* * *

TBC… if I get reviews… 


	13. Captive

Disclaimer: I don't own

The translations for the French are in italics underneath the paragraph in which they are used.

* * *

They arrived in Canada and got through customs and every other obstacle in their way without much trouble and it happened very quickly. After all, who wants to wait in line with two guys handcuffed to each other? They exited the building quickly and Gibbs soon saw what he was looking for.

It happened to be a Starbucks. Forcefully, Gibbs pushed McGee in and they headed to a counter where a bored looking 19-ish year old stood, or rather slouched upon the counter.

"Bonjour." McGee smiled the teen looked at him., "Um. Je suis américain. De la Virginie. L'homme surly vieil je handcuffed à-"

_Hello - I am American. From Virginia. The surly old man I'm handcuffed to-_

"Je vraiment ne m'inquiète pas." Teenager rolled their eyes and sighed a bit.

_I really don't care._

"Non, vous ne comprenez pas. Il m'a capturé! Je suis un prisonnier." Cried McGee Gibbs looked at him oddly. "It's how you order coffee in French speaking countries. With gusto." McGee lied.

_No, you do not understand. He captured me! I am a prisoner._

"Svp congé." The teenager whimpered.

_Please leave._

"They're fresh out of coffee, sir." McGee shrugged.

* * *

"Ellie Marx you get back here right now!" commanded Steven Philips following Ellie to the bullpen. Once again Ellie had gotten him to agree to something he rather not do. It was weird how much power she had over him, he should have had all the power over her. He was over a foot taller than her (but then again, Ellie was barely 5' 1"). She was dominant, and he was even more dominant, but something about her had made him say yes to helping her.

"No. You said you'd help now lift me up." She started climbing on his shoulders and though Steven heard himself protesting he helped steady her mud covered shoes that were now on top of his white t-shirt.

"I think that's what I think it is. Get on top of Tony's desk!" she grinned. Once gain, Steven did as she said, going through every thought he could in order to make sense of the current situation.

"Oh my god! It is!" Ellie gasped her hands flying to her mouth.

"Night shift get off my desk!" Tony commanded barging into the bullpen where to agents who worked the night shift were.

"Gah!" Ellie screamed as Steven started to lose his balance and stumbled off the desk.

"Don't squish Abby's mother!" Kate shrieked pulling the lady in pink out of Ellie and Stevens way.

"That's Abby's mother?" suddenly Steven had regained balance Ellie looking as though she was about to scream.

"Yup." Tony brushed off his desk and pulled out three pieces of poster board.

"I never would have guessed." Ellie managed to say. Still standing on Stevens shoulders they turned around and headed off to some other fiendish activity.

"I wonder what they were looking at?" Little did Tony know what was happening outside in the NCIS parking lot.

* * *

Creepy, yet classy, superhero music played softly from Skywalker's head phones. In his blue spandex he stood out. Even if it was barely light outside.

His only super power, Caffie-Sense had told him he'd been spotted, and the two NCIS members looking at him through the window. He wondered why they were still there, and if all NCIS agents were touched in the head.

But that didn't matter right now. Obi Wan was missing.

He pulled out of metal detector, magnifying glass and a pouch of zip lock bags to hold any evidence he might find and begun scanning the parking lot.

* * *

Cheerfully Abby made her way to the building. She'd been in the parking lot for 30 minutes talking to Skywalker, though she wasn't sure if he was listening. Gibbs' car wasn't there yet which made her quite happy. Gibbs needed his sleep.

He was, after all, only human. Probably.

Casually she slipped into the building and past security without any trouble and headed off to her lab to she if Kate was wearing the same clothes as the day before.

* * *

"Dawg." Ducky stated as he walked into the bullpen to tell Gibbs the results of an autopsy. "Yo" he said, "Sweet."

He smiled and noticed the three familiar faces int eh bullpen though not the one's he'd expected.

"Yo young Tony! And Mornin' Caitlin!" He greeted cheerfully then turned to the unexpected one. Hello. He signed to Abby mother before noticing all three were covered in glue, and surrounded by bits of photocopied pictures.

Ducky bit his lip and looked at one of the posters. Naked baby pictures. "Are these Abby?" he asked aloud. There was no mistaking who it was. The smile gave it away immediately, but he felt it best to get confirmation.

Evily, all three nodded.

* * *

TBC… 


	14. Signs

Disclaimer: I don't own

Note about languages to the person who signed as 'Abs' (and anyone else.): Forgive my French. It was translated by Goggle. BUT WAIT! I'm not a stupid American! Of the five languages I speak, French is the only one I can't read or write in, and that's only because when I go to France, my cousin translates all the writing for me and if he happens to be in America when my Family is, I translate the stuff to English because we both think the languages are extremely hard to read. And we're not to biased because we both have the same 1st language which IF it's used now (Big if.) We can read it. Mostly. In fact, I will add at least two words from it into this chapter.

* * *

Abby walked into the building and was not at all surprised to see Tony and Janice hanging up a poster on the wall. They'd done that before- it was pictures of the director eating the last jelly doughnut in the break room. That whole situation had the whole NCIS building up in arms, mostly because Janice had insisted they prove they had no Jelly residue on their hands. It turned out to be quite useless, because 54 people had eaten doughnuts that day.

However, her jaw nearly dropped when she was what was on the poster. She recognized those photo's. Her mother had shown them to her first boyfriend when he came to pick her up for their date to the movies. It had been one of the most horrifying experiences of her life.

She felt a tap on her shoulder and spun around, only to see a mass of pink and yellow.

* * *

"Parlez-vous anglais?" McGee asked hopefully as he stepped into a coffee shop by himself. Gibbs had noticed that the TV screen in the café was playing a news clip about him. It had a large friendly photo of Gibbs' face and coffee with an 'x' though it.

"Yeah." replied the red haired man behind the counter looking at McGee with a face he reserved for stupid Americans.

"Have you heard of Agent Gibbs?" McGee asked twiddling his fingers and pointing randomly at the menu, with gusto. The employee gave him a look that was obviously a 'yes'. "Right, well, he kidnapped me and he's waiting outside for me to bring him coffee so if you could just call the police…?" McGee's voice trailed off as the employee left.

McGee turned around and shrugged at Gibbs who glared wearily at him. The employee was only gone about a minute.

"I called the police and they said they'd be here in about five minutes to arrest him for kidnapping you. In the mean time I'll pretend like I'm making coffee." The employee raised his eyebrows a few times evilly and McGee spun around again, this time giving Gibbs two thumbs up.

* * *

Skywalker slammed his metal detector against the ground approximately 1,000,000 times. It had malfunctioned. A lot. He'd realized the problem when he'd held it up to a car and it didn't beep.

His first guess was that, maybe, just maybe, the car he'd held it up to was plastic of rubber or wood or something but, after holding up to several other cars of different makes, he'd discovered it wasn't working. He knew it was his own fault, though. His mother always warned him not to buy metal detectors as garage sales, even if they were only 50 cents.

Now, not only had he lost his 50 cents but his mother voice was floating around on his head, and no matter how much he picked at his earwax, the voice would not leave.

"I told you not to buy it. That thing is drek!" his mother voice told him. He could almost see her shaking her finger at him in an anger manner. Slowly he hunched his shoulders a bit.

"What the hell does drek mean?" wailed Luke, clutching the detector for support but eventually falling onto a car.

* * *

The sounds of a car alarm echoed through the building, however, no one knew it was that. All thought it was some other sort of alarm, and since it was obviously not a biochemical attack, employees begun heading for the exits and someone pulled a fire alarm, but a few people remained.

As sprinklers went off people got wet, and really, every thing got wet, and when people and things get wet, they tend to move faster and towards doors which will usually lead them to dry. However, Ducky, Abby, Kate, Tony, Janice and the not-yet-named mother of Abby stayed.

Abby signed.

Then her mother signed.

Tony tried to work his way under an umbrella Janice was holding, but it was made for only one person and she was much shorter than he.

Kate rolled her eyes and tried to figure out what Abby and Abby's mother had signed about in the mean time.

Abby folded her arms.

Ducky tapped his watch which had stopped working.

Abby's mother signed.

Kate recognized three letters signed by Abby mother.

T-I-M.

Abby unfolded her arms, and looking like a total teenager signed something angrily.

Abby's mother smiled softly and hugged Abby.

Abby hugged her mother back.

Janice let out a little sigh.

The six left the building Janice muttering something about Mameh and Tokhter being back together again.

* * *

Okay, It was three words.

TBC…


	15. Torture

Disclaimer: I don't own

* * *

"Hello, Gibbs." A slick European voice hissed into his ear. You could defiantly tell it was French but there were defiantly hints of German, Irish, Russian, and more noticeably, Italian. Gibbs turned around and was met with a face he'd seen before. John-Luc La Nuit. John-Luc smiled, noticing Gibbs' reaction.

"We thought you might like to know your little friend called the cops." La Nuit gestured into the café. La Nuit had one back up, a short guy with a mustiest. Gibbs glared at McGee. "Would you like to come with us. Maybe we can arrange something- we have a French Press." It was all Gibbs needed to hear. Willingly, and quite happily, he went with them into a sleek mini cooper, that seemed much larger from the inside.

The car started with a whir and the three drove for about ten minutes before pulling up to a very large house, or rather, mansion. It was really quite beautiful, but, when you were with the leader of the French-Canadian Mafia, (Though Gibbs recalled something about them wanting become more politically correct as well as legally correct and calling themselves the French-Canadian Organized Crime Unit Without admitting we did anything wrong. Most people still considered them a Mafia, and no amount of lawyers were going to change that. But on their behalf, they hadn't killed anyone of late.)

Screams echoed through the house. La Nuit bowed his head and shook it lightly.

"Tickle torture. It's a messy job, but someone has to do it." it was bit hard for Gibbs not to shudder at the very thought of someone doing something so horrible to another human. He'd tried tickle torture once with Abby when she was being stubborn and wouldn't tell him anything. He'd almost lasted an hour but then, neither he nor Abby could stand it anymore. Ducky, who's held her down for 15 minutes , before giving up, saying he couldn't bear to see one friend do this to another.

Later, after it was all done, Ducky had made Gibbs and Abby sign an agreement saying that they would never, ever, ever again resort to such measures.

* * *

All the female NCIS employee's minus one and plus Freddy, were delighted when firemen, clad in red arrived. Hoses drawn, they were slightly confused when they realized the building was not up in smoke or on fire in any way shape or form. It'd been a month without even the tiniest of fires, and although that was a good thing, the firemen were bored to tears.

They'd even tried to set a building one fire, but their attempt at arson was no use. They were just to good at preventing fires to start one.

"We could just spray a bunch of water at the building." an anonymous fireman suggested. You could practically hear him shrugging as he said it. After a few mumbled agreements the firemen turned their hoses on low to minimize the amount of water they used.

* * *

"Um, Gibbs kinda, might have, gone bye-bye?" McGee tried weakly, saying it in French of course, as he explained to the Police officers, why Gibbs wasn't there. They didn't believe he ever had been there. They'd tried to find hairs of something or anything in the spot where Gibbs had been but, there was nothing.

"We simply can't believe you. Maybe if you had some ID…" suggested the officer who looked at his watch. He'd been there for nearly an hour already, and he really did not want to miss CSI. It was a new episode. Of course, he would have wanted to see it even if it had been a re-run. He just loved it so. It didn't matter to him that they didn't to anything like real life.

"But I don't have any ID. He kidnapped me!" McGee was quite close to jumping on a table and throwing a tantrum, in fact, the only thing stopping him was that he knew people here and didn't want to see him acting stupid.

Once again, the officer did not believe McGee. It wasn't logical. Why would you Capture someone then let them go? Or if this Tim characters story was true, make him go get you coffee? Some people would do anything to get attention, which reminded the police officers of the times he'd jumped on a table in Washington, DC then saw someone he knew. Her name had been…. Well, he couldn't really remember, but he'd been in Florida for spring break when he met her, she'd just won a wet t-shirt contest. Then, he'd seen her again, wearing a secret service badge. And he'd been jumping on the table.

Really, it hadn't been one of his greatest moments. He shook his head to rid it of the thoughts.

"I can't- no I don't- believe you." the officer shrugged and turned slowly to leave, waiting for McGee to jump upon his ankles and confess everything. He was part right.

McGee jumped from his spot and grabbed onto the officers ankles, tears welling in his eyes.

"Please! My boss was there, and I'm really worried about him!" McGee kicked his feet a few times.

"Fine. I suppose I could take you to the scene and let you show me some evidence." scoffed the officer as he and McGee headed to the bushes where Gibbs had been.

"Ah-Ha!" McGee sneered pointing at a match box on the ground, "it could be a clue."

The officer sneered yet again, and hoped the wind would not change directions while he did so. He didn't want it to freeze that way, but the officers gasped when he saw the matchbox.

"Oh my goodness!" he looked at the small writing on the front which read; 'This is the official matchbox of John-Luc La Nuit, leader of the French-Canadian Organized Crime Unit Without admitting we did anything wrong.. If found please return to;' the address was to smudged to read.

"Gibbs was kidnapped by the mafia?' McGee was quite scared.

"They're probably tickling him as we speak." McGee gasped and whispered 'no'.

* * *

TBC…. 


End file.
